Lane Bryant

Disappearing Acts: 5 Reasons Why Men Vanish

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Disappearing Acts: 5 Reasons Why Men Vanish

Image by © David Katzenstein/Citizen Stock/Corbis

Image by © David Katzenstein/Citizen Stock/Corbis

Dating certainly has its ups and downs. You have that fear of uncertainty but at the same time you have that excited feeling that you get when you meet someone new. I think every single woman goes out with just a little bit of hope that he may be the one. We eagerly go out, have a great time, and hope that a second date is in the works. After a few dates and a few phone conversations the man pulls a disappearing act. It’s almost as if he goes into a magician’s box and vanishes after the magician yells abracadabra. I’m sure there isn’t a woman alive who hasn’t wondered at some point why men vanish…what really happened here? You feel like you’re playing the leading role in the TV show Cold Case searching for clues.

There are 5 distinct reasons why men vanish leaving you wondering what happened and what went wrong.

You’re nothing but an option

The word options will stick with me my entire dating life. Option is a very important word when it comes to dating. Why? Because men always them! A man will date you for months and as soon as he finds someone he likes a little bit better or he likes his other option better, you will be yesterday’s news with no explanation or no warning. Women should never believe that a man is only specifically dating her unless it has been discussed. The good thing about options is that you can have them to.

Testing the waters

Some men will begin to date other women when their relationship or marriage is hitting shaky ground. You may not know that he’s in a relationship or married because he neglects to share this vital information with you. I find that this happens most often with separated men. As soon as things appear to work out with the girlfriend or wife, he’s gone. Most women assume that if a guy talks to us or shows interest that implies that he’s single. That’s not always the case.

Fear of the big C

Believe it or not, there are men in this world who will date you knowing that they have no intentions of committing to you or they’re not seeking a committed relationship at that time. Shocking huh? When you get to serious and start asking where is this going or you begin to want more than he can offer, he bails and it’s normally without explanation. This can also happen with a guy who you have not officially dated but maybe had great phone conversation with. He will talk to you for awhile to see where your head is at and what you’re looking for. when they find the answers they seek; You won’t hear from him again and he won’t return your call. Commitment is a very scary word for some.

He has to work too hard to get some

Last but certainly not least is sex. Plain and simple, if a man wants nothing but sex from you and finds that it’s not easily obtained; he will jump ship on you never to be seen or heard from again. You may get one, two, hell maybe three dates out the deal and if he doesn’t see sex happening soon…he’s done.

It’s too easy

I’m a woman who doesn’t like push over people. This applies to my dating life as well. Controlling people may like someone that gullible and a pushover but most people don’t. Call it the thrill of the chase; when you’re too agreeable and go along with anything. This is actually a turn off! Stand up for yourself and don’t go along with behaviors you know are unacceptable.

Sometimes we never truly know why a guy bails after a few good phone conversations or a few dates. I have no idea why some men can’t be honest with their intentions. Like really….grow some balls!!!!! I have a greater respect for men who can be honest with me from the very beginning. Regardless of any intentions a man may have it translates to one conclusion; he’s just not that into you.

Has someone ever vanished on you without a trace?

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