One sunny afternoon, I was walking my beloved Sebastian along the lake. Sebastian is a funny little guy; sometimes he likes his leash and sometimes he doesn’t. So this particular day, I put Sebastian’s leash on at the lake front. He tugged and pulled at the leash while I held on to the other end tightly. Eventually, he pulled so hard until he snapped the leash and broke free. He took off running down the path like the dogcatcher was chasing him. This is what happens when we have a clingy partner. They hold on to the leash so tight until we eventually want to break away.
In relationships, there should be a healthy balance between how much time you spend together. I personally prefer someone who is not stuck to me like glue, Velcro, or any other liquid/object that binds two things together. I start to feel suffocated, smothered, and sometimes bothered. I like my space and my “me” time; like really get away from me! Everyone is not like me, so we have to learn exactly what a healthy balance is. Every relationship has its own unique dynamic. We cannot watch our partner 24 hours a day nor can we keep them from doing anything they want to do. No matter how much we may cling to someone we can’t control their actions.
Are you a clingy partner? Ask yourself these questions
Did your partner invite you or did you invite yourself?
Sometimes people invite us places because they feel pressured to or they want to keep the peace. You know that phone call when your boo says he/she is going somewhere with a family or friend. They sense the tone of your voice and invite you along even though they didn’t really want to. We already knew that he/she would invite us based off our tone of voice.
Will you be the only male/female in attendance?
Now that you’ve gotten the invite you tag along and find that you’re the only man/woman in the room. This leads to others feeling awkward because now you can’t have that girl/guy talk you wanted to have because of the elephant in the room. Have you ever gone out thinking it was girl’s night and then someone brings their partner because she don’t trust him or he don’t trust her?
Did you spoil your partner’s plans for the evening?
Your partner has a nice evening planned with his boys, co-workers, or someone other than you. Either you encourage them to go but your tone says something else, you come up with some emergency or reason that he/she needs to stay home, or you throw a complete temper tantrum. Yes, I’ve seen this happen.
It is important to keep a healthy balance and spend some time apart. Boundaries should be set to maintain a good connection and mutual respect. Honestly, sometimes we just need a break and a stiff shot of cognac! A clingy partner often derives from trust issues, insecurities, and a problematic childhood. It often manifests itself after good sex. Yeah, that’ll definitely do it!
Do you think it’s ok to be clingy or do you encourage some time apart?