Lane Bryant

Dealing With The Past: Belgian Man Learns Wife Use To Be A Man

I love weird news stories that shift my attention away from politics and violence. When I see a news story that’s out of the ordinary, I can’t help but to be intrigued by it. Yesterday, I stumbled upon this news story that immediately held my attention. The headline read “Belgian Man Learns His Wife Use To Be A Man”.

In this story, a 64 year old Belgian man found out that his 48 year old wife use to be a man. The wife met him 19 years prior when she worked as a nanny for his family not long after his reassignment surgery. They apparently fell in love and he divorced his wife and married her not knowing her use to be a him. He then fought for her residency in Belgium because she was there illegally. His world came crashing down 19 years later when he discovered e-mails and questioned her sex. She then admitted that she use to be a “boy” and that she had no need to tell him about her past life as a man. The elderly man stated that “he thought she was an attractive woman” and never noticed anything even during sex. He is seeking to have the marriage annulled but the courts have yet to determine a decision.

As you may recall, a few weeks ago I wrote about a man in China who sued his wife after learning she previously had thousands of dollars of plastic surgery after they had a so-called ugly daughter. I mentioned in that post about misrepresentation and how we should opt for honesty. This is damn sure one of those times! I do understand that everyone has a past, but to with hold such a transformation is just wrong. I believe that everyone deserves happiness and I wholeheartedly have no problem with transsexuals. However, I do have a problem with dishonesty and deceit. There’s a part of me that thinks the husband got exactly what he deserved. Because we all know that he most likely had something going on with the nanny before he divorced his wife. I wonder if this man ever wondered why his wife never got pregnant in the 19 years they were together. Do I now have to add “were you originally born a man?” to my list of questions to ask on a date?

I am asking myself some serious questions here! After 19 years, would I divorce someone if they revealed such a huge change to me? Would I want to start over? And if I truly loved that person would it matter that 19+ years ago they were the same sex as I. Does this change the person I fell in love with? Definitely, some tough questions that I couldn’t even imagine answering. We are great at stating what we would or would not do in certain situations, but we truly don’t know unless we’re actually in it. To effectively deal with the past we must be open, honest, and willing to accept it. The wife was neither open nor honest and although she may have accepted her past, she didn’t give her husband an option to accept it.

Do we feel sorry for the elderly man? Or did he simply get what he deserved? After all, there’s this thing called Karma!

Have a great weekend

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