I think at times we forget how important communication is. I know from personal experience, I’ve felt like “I should’ve said this” or “I should’ve told them how I really felt”. Maybe things would’ve been better if I would’ve spoke up or maybe I shouldn’t have said shit at all. Maybe I should’ve shut the hell up and really truly listened to what the other person was saying. These are all questions that I have asked myself in the past after some type of argument or parting of the ways.
Communication is something that can take on many forms, it can be passive (I don’t want anyone upset with me so I’m not saying shit), aggressive (I can say what the hell I want, who cares if I offend or disrespect people), passive aggressive (I have a hard time getting my thoughts out so I’ll just use sarcasm and let them read between the lines) and assertive (I can freely express my thoughts and feelings in a respectful way). There are people who can easily communicate their likes and dislikes to employers, friends, and family but when it comes to talking to our mate or someone we’re romantically involved with, we sometimes become mute. We freeze up and just push whatever’s bothering us into the back of our mind. It reminds me of the three ancient wise monkeys hear no evil, see no evil, and speak no evil. Although this is a wise way to deal with people and negativity, in relationships and romantic involvements you need to see everything, hear everything, and speak up.
Maybe it’s out of fear or maybe we feel like speaking up will lead to some form of confrontation. I can honestly tell you that if you cannot communicate with your partner in an assertive way, or if you fail to communicate at all, you are doing yourself a huge disservice. I don’t know a single living soul that’s equipped with super human mind reading powers. X-men do not exist; the mind reading Dr. Xavier is a fictional character. There is no way to tell what is bothering us, what we feel the problem is, or if we have any feelings at all unless it is communicated. Everyone has a different style of communication, even if your styles differ, you have to find a way to effectively and respectfully get your point across.
I think many relationships could’ve been rectified by having a simple conversation in which you talk to each other instead of talking at each other. This takes place at the first sign of a problem, the worst thing you can do is to let problems get out of control and not communicate about it. This will leave you mad, bitter, and angry which ultimately leads to the demise of the relationship. How would I know that I did something that displeased you or said something that may have hurt you if you don’t tell me? You would be amazed at how little things that tick you off can lead to big problems over a period of time. Communication is something that constantly takes place, in the beginning, the middle, and the end. It leads to a better relationship, a better sex life, and a deeper understanding of each other. So speak up and let your feelings and your thoughts be known. You will find that in the long run it was well worth it even if the relationship doesn’t work out.
Has there ever been a time when you felt you should’ve spoken up but didn’t?