I’m on a roll tonight, its 3:46am and I know my ass should be in bed but when it hits me I got to get it out. Have you ever heard the phrase “you are what you attract”? Well it simply means that everybody in your life whether good or bad, positive or negative has come into your life for a reason and you somehow attracted this person to you. I find the Laws of Attraction very interesting and there’s definitely some truth to what you think about the most is what you attract the most of. Whatever you think about and whatever you speak about will somehow manifest itself into your life. It is said that instead of focusing on the negative aspects of the people you meet you take what you learned from the situation and turn it into a positive. You thank the person for showing you what it is you attract and then you move on to something better. So after some deep soul searching, I learned something about myself and the people I attract. I used the following case scenarios from my past dating/relationship experiences and although they ended in a negative way I was able to pull positive situations from it.
Case 1: The Undercover Alcoholic Church Boy
I was in a relationship and everything was going well then I noticed that this guy seemed to like the bottle a little bit more than he should when he wasn’t in church. Needless to say he was an alcoholic and most of the time he didn’t even remember being at my house. As a result, I now have a huge problem with heavy drinkers. The moment somebody gets pissy drunk on me…I’m out the door.
Case 2: The Ex Husband- An Undercover Cheater
Another good boy gone bad, well at least I thought he was good. In the beginning, we probably could have won an award for couple of year. I was showered with gifts, love, and got very comfortable being a housewife. In the end, a totally different person emerged as he turned out to be a habitual cheater who also had a porn addiction. Who orders porn at 10 am??? The positive, my marriage made me a stronger person who was able to make the best decision for myself after being caught up in drama I didn’t ask for. I felt if I could get over this, I could get over anything and I did just that…got over it and moved on! On another note, I’m not sure why I became a housewife to begin with; I don’t have one domestic bone in my body!
Case 3: The Undercover Drug Addict
I decided to date outside my race, I told my sister I wanted someone who lived downtown and had money to wine and dine my ass. I got exactly what I asked for! I begin to notice that this guy seemed anxious and fidgety and it wasn’t until a few months later that I found out he had a serious cocaine habit and later lost his job. The positive it taught me to be careful what you wish for. I have learned to be more specific when I ask for certain qualities.
These are just a few scenarios I used. I won’t even count the number of guys I’ve dated and they turned out to be gay or people who had some type of other underline issue. I learned that I attract people who appear to have it all together but in the end they don’t. The person that I meet in the beginning turns out to be someone completely different in the end. It appears that they are living a double life and at some point their double lives collide, so how does this apply to me? Well I’m a Gemini, I have many different personalities and I’m quite adaptable to my surroundings. I’m not an alcoholic, a drug addict, nor am I a cheater but I simply choose to keep a great deal of my personal life private and sometimes what you see is not always what you get. I never let people see me sweat, I could be having the worst day of my life and you would never know. Because of my dual natured personality I attract people who have personality issues and have double standards. So if you ever wonder why you attract certain people take a really good look at yourself, if you wonder why you attract people that say harsh or cruel things take a good look at yourself, and if you wonder why you attract people who have emotional flaws take a good look at yourself. Make a list of everyone you have dated or had a committed relationship with. Write down all the traits of that person and then compare them. I bet you will find one common theme among them all. Now turn all the negatives into positives, use that to move on to something bigger and better. Nobody is perfect; we are all works in progress.
Do the work, find your pattern!