Dating is suppose to be a fun experience and an opportunity to simply meet and get to know each other. As a woman who dates frequently and as someone who has been on the dating scene for the pass few years. I have learned a thing or two about dating and preparing yourself for situations that may occur while we’re out in the dating pool. I’ve had some embarrassing moment, I’ve had some fun moments, and I’ve had some “get me the hell out of here moments”. So I thought I would share some of the tips I’ve picked up along the way. There are several articles and blogs about dating and the do’s and don’ts but I like to write from my own personal experiences and what I know to be true.
Expect The Unexpected
In a world where internet dating is prevalent you must always expect to be surprised in some sort of way. Sometimes people use outdated pictures or someone else’s picture and then you meet and it’s an entirely different person than the picture you have memorized. In any scenario, you should always carry some cash just in case your date decides to split the bill with you. The rule states that whoever does the asking pays, but some people haven’t gotten that memo yet. So grab some cash out the ATM just in case your date tells you, “your share of the bill is $19.26 and 1/2 cent. Cash also comes in handy in case you didn’t drive and you need to hop a cab home.
Choose Your Meeting Place Wisely
Honestly, the day when first dates meant dinner and a movie has long gone. It’s only takes 5 minutes to know if you want someone in your presence any longer than a half hour. Meeting for a drink or coffee works well. If after that initial meeting you decide you want to go out for dinner and if you’re asked to choose the place , have feasible options already in mind. Don’t pick the rib shack because ribs are messy and this will be the night when all the sauce falls off the meat and onto your nice blouse. Don’t pick the mexican restaurant if you know that mexican gives you indigestion (go easy on the re-fried beans)
The Internet is Merely an Option
As the saying goes, true love finds you unexpectedly. Although I have been on a few dating sites I don’t search profiles for available suitors nor do I send winks, flirts, hugs or any of that. I post my profile and let those who are interested find me. The internet should only be an option, you should also get out and actively meet people and do activities that interest you. You”ll find that you will meet people while you’re doing something as simple as grocery shopping. Sitting on the internet all day looking for a partner will get you no where.
Conduct yourself as a lady or gentleman at all times. Don’t be rude to the waitstaff and snap because she/he took a little bit too long to bring your water. Don’t pull your cell phone out and text your friends or post on facebook that you’re on a date. Devote your time to getting to know the person you’re with, your friends and facebook will be there when you’re done. People like sexy, plain and simple. Sexy doesn’t mean you walk out the house with all your goods showing and hanging out. Sexy is actually more of an attitude and a confidence level. Ditch frumpy ill fitting clothing that make you look like you’re 50 instead of 30. Talk about things you enjoy and things you have in common, also ditch work topics that no one would know about other than you. Some people work more than one job and long hours, the last thing they want to do is have a lenghty conversation about what they do, how they do it, and what makes them qualified to do it. Just be glad their employed!
I have noticed that sometimes people become the person they think the other person wants. Meaning, they change who they are for the sake of someone elses happiness. Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself and be different. If you disagree with something, say it. If a person suggest you do something that you don’t want to do, say it. If you know you can’t swim and terribly afraid of the water and your date wants to go jet skiing, let the person know but don’t be uncompromising. I’m not into sports at all but if someone invites me to a game, I will happily go and cheer for the home team. If you continuously do this, you will lose who you are in the process, you will spend so much time trying to make others happy until you completely forget about yourself and what makes YOU happy. A person who has your best interest at heart will listen to you and accept you the way you are. Flaws and all.
Keep Sex out of the Equation
I’m going to keep it real for you, if you meet somebody and 2 hours later you’re in the missionary position, you have already sealed your fate. In rare circumstances this can actually turn into a relationship but I wouldn’t suggest you take that chance. What starts in the bedroom ends in the bedroom. If you’re not looking for a relationship and just want to have fun then by all means knock yourself out, whatever floats your boat, as long as you protect yourself and there’s a clear understanding as to what is going on. Some people can handle casual sex and some can’t. If you’re looking for a relationship then take your time and really get to know the person. Know where it’s going before you cross that line.
Stand Tall & Proud
Sometimes we date someone and go out 3 or 4 times and they simply just vanish. You may have felt a connection and maybe he/she didn’t, who knows? When things don’t work out don’t beat yourself up. Continue meeting people and being your happy fabulous self. At times, we may ask ourselves what could I have done differently or was it me? Thinking like this doesn’t solve anything and does nothing for your self-esteem. Take note that you’re not everyones flavor and everyone is not yours. There are no guarantees in this game we call life. Stand tall and know that you deserve to be happy and you deserve the best. Be proud of who you are and know that anyone who was meant to be in your life won’t go anywhere.
I’m not a huge fan of rules and the wait 2-3 days to call and yada yada yada. The only rule that rings true is if a person is truly interested in you, they will make it known and will not hesistate to call and text you. If someone calls you after a week or 2 and claim they were busy hang the damn phone up and keep it moving. It’s takes 2 minutes to call someone and say “I’m busy but wanted to give you a quick call to say Hi”. Dating multiple people can be beneficial but honestly if you meet someone you have a spark with and they feel the same they won’t allow you the time to date someone else because they will be on a mission to obtain what they want…YOU
SHALL WE DATE?